Today started off as just one of those days. I knew it was going to be an uphill battle as the first 5 minutes proved. So I bowed down in prayer saying somethk mg along the lines of, "Lord, convict me of any hypocrisy so that what I say I believe aligns with what I do please also help me walk by the spirit so I don't give in to my flesh." So what did God do with this, something that took me completely off guard.
I took Isaiah to a new doctor. He had been there before but this is his first time seeing her. Before soon I noticed he was calming up, not talk I ng and getting shy. Eventually she needed him to get undressed so we could look at his body more closely. What began as an "I don't want to," turned into an uncontrollable no. His reaction doesn't matter, bottom line, he didn't want to obey. Immediately my mommy skills were on display as the doctor watched me try to get my child to undress. He wasn't going to obey. I started off gentle but he still was resisting. I asked for some privacy to discipline but it didn't matter, he had it set in his mind, he didn't want to do it. I was losing it. He was set he wasn't doing it and I was set he was but there was no obedience. At that point I had lost control of his heart and only wanted the end rwsult, obedience. This wasn't right. He ended up doing it in n the long run but it didn't hit me what God was doing until we were back in the car. I thought it was a temptation to be quick to anger and to choose the Spirit, but it was way more than that!
In the car I asked, "Why didn't you want to take off your pants?" A very legitimate question that I was hoping to get to what he was feeling. Once we identified it I began to hear myself saying, "no matter what you felt, even if you were right, doesn't justify that you were disobedient OR didn't trust your mom that you were safe." I stopped halfway, realizing this was a lesson for me! How ridiculous! Of course my son didn't have to take his pants off if he was uncomfortable but his disobedience and lack of trust in his mommy who loves him was not okay. That's me! In my own sin, I always try and justify myself with good reasoning, but it's disobedience. In the end it's disobedience. Period. How loving of my Father to teach me this through my own child. Lord, help me not to forget this and to take it to heart. Amen!
I took Isaiah to a new doctor. He had been there before but this is his first time seeing her. Before soon I noticed he was calming up, not talk I ng and getting shy. Eventually she needed him to get undressed so we could look at his body more closely. What began as an "I don't want to," turned into an uncontrollable no. His reaction doesn't matter, bottom line, he didn't want to obey. Immediately my mommy skills were on display as the doctor watched me try to get my child to undress. He wasn't going to obey. I started off gentle but he still was resisting. I asked for some privacy to discipline but it didn't matter, he had it set in his mind, he didn't want to do it. I was losing it. He was set he wasn't doing it and I was set he was but there was no obedience. At that point I had lost control of his heart and only wanted the end rwsult, obedience. This wasn't right. He ended up doing it in n the long run but it didn't hit me what God was doing until we were back in the car. I thought it was a temptation to be quick to anger and to choose the Spirit, but it was way more than that!
In the car I asked, "Why didn't you want to take off your pants?" A very legitimate question that I was hoping to get to what he was feeling. Once we identified it I began to hear myself saying, "no matter what you felt, even if you were right, doesn't justify that you were disobedient OR didn't trust your mom that you were safe." I stopped halfway, realizing this was a lesson for me! How ridiculous! Of course my son didn't have to take his pants off if he was uncomfortable but his disobedience and lack of trust in his mommy who loves him was not okay. That's me! In my own sin, I always try and justify myself with good reasoning, but it's disobedience. In the end it's disobedience. Period. How loving of my Father to teach me this through my own child. Lord, help me not to forget this and to take it to heart. Amen!
