Praises of a 9 Year Marriage

We have a good marriage but we are sinners full of need of a Savior, need to forgive and ability to extend grace. We have been hiding in our marriage, at least I have been. Recently I learned that to be a woman who fears the Lord, I will need to be bold for my faith! I will need to live a life confident of who God is (my ultimate authority) and walk in his ways, his truth, leading to life! My husband is my leader but he is not my ultimate authority. I, however, am made to be his helpmate. According to John Piper:

biblical submission for the wife is the divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. “A helper suitable for him,” as Genesis 2:18says.

I must "help carry it through" according to my gifts!

Last week we had our first, what I would say, successful argument. We don't argue well. We don't love by extending grace, listening to the other person nor making it a safe place to disagree. Me, I struggle because I have trouble processing. I can't even do step 1, processing what I'm struggling with on my own. So now, that's my first goal. I can't sweep it under the rug I must push forward because the purpose of my marriage is to reveal the gospel! I can no longer hide! I must obey God and seek his truth in every instance of my life and marriage! It's time for Paul and I to start fixing our eyes on Jesus, not ourselves.

More on this topic later...

Children are a Blessing

I've always wanted to be a mother, but this thing called motherhood was spiraling out of control to days full of yelling and shouting matches, anger and quiet sadly, despair. The days were long and this thing, motherhood, that I always hoped for was not full of joy like I had anticipated.

So I wrestled with the Lord, "Why Lord? Why do I not like this thing called motherhood and why do sometimes I actually get to the point of not liking my children? They are so adorable, why am I going crazy?"

The Lord reminded me of Psalm 127:3 "Children are a blessing, a gift from the Lord." I'd heard it over and over again in Christian circles. But right now, in the depth of my heart, I did not feel this way as I went about our days in the Chamberlain household. Conviction feel on me.

The Bible is my authority so I sought direction from the Lord of why I wasn't believing this. The Lord, Creator of all things, is telling me that children are a blessing and gift! But did I truly believe that in the depth of my heart? No. I did not.

It has almost been a year since we've been "not not trying" for another child. As I watch other pregnant mommas around me I can't help but be saddened. Why Lord do all these women have babies so fast and close together and we, we don't? Then I look at my own kids and think, well Lord, I can't even see my two incredible children that are so amazing as a blessing. I struggle even to see them as a gift from you, so why would you give me more? Also, I realize that I have no control. They are truly a gift, wonderfully created, to be given to me, their mother. And that is convicting!

So Lord, as I've handed this over to you confessing my sin and seeking a repentant heart you have given me a heart with new eyes. In asking you to see my children as a blessing and a gift, you have not only opened my eyes but have given me an immeasurable joy in being their mother. Thank you for the greatest gift I could have ever asked for...your joy as I abide in you! And whether I have these two incredible children, more biological children, future adopted children or hundreds of spiritual children may it be for your glory alone!

Amen!

Happy 5th Birthday Isaiah!

Happy birthday Isaiah! Wow, you are 5 years old! We had an incredible day celebrating you! We ate waffles with whip cream, flew on a seaplane, went to the movie theatre to see Cars 3, ate lunch at Dick's AND had a birthday party with all yoir friends! My favorite of all was going on the seaplane ride with you. I'm not going to lie, I was a bit nervous. But you, you were so courageous and excited! I loved flying high over Seattle with you and enjoying seeing God's creation below. Your favorite part was taking off and landing, which I think you would have done over and over again if they had let you.
This year you grew in so many ways. It's obvious you are strong, athletic and competitive. You work hard and excel at soccer (and really anything you put your mind to.) But God has gifted you with so much more Isaiah. You are courageous, you do not fear doing what is right, you are caring and loving, you have incredible work ethic...those are just a few of the fruit I've seen in you this year.
Something also special happened this year. You said you believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior. I can never affirm your salvation, only God and his word can do that. But he says there will be fruit when you believe. Isaiah, although for my conveince i wish there was more fruit, ive seen in you a beautiful desire to read God's word, worship and praise him by singing and a genuine caring heart for others. It is the greatest privelege and honor to see God at work in you, a true gift.
I cherish your abudant silly faces, creative dance moves, desire to snuggle and read stories, your adventurous competitive edge, your fearless bike riding and most of all just watching you be a kid and enjoy life.
It is an honor to be your mother. You are a true gift from God and I so love you now and always.

A few things about you:
Best friends: Everett Moore & Ben Hale
Friends at school: Faith, Walter and Ben
You are known at school for being silly and making people laugh.
Favorite veggie: broccoli & green pepper
What your in to: watching animals on animal planet (especially cheetahs); painting at school; making creations like books, masks, flags, animals, planes, etc.; building legos; chewing gum; riding your bike fast of road; driving your race car at the park
Things you are scared of: the dark, the closet closed, snakes and crabs
Favorite games: Sorry, Sequence, Bunco (w/ Grandma), Tickle Neck, Chess, and Video Games!
Activities you're currently involved in: Soccer at Arena Sports (Titans and coach Calyx), Swim lessons @ Angelfish, you just started piano lessons through the city of Bellevue (Fall), BSF, pre-K at the Childrens Studio, Mama takes you to school and ice cream on Wednesdays, Daddy takes you to breakfast at Georges every Friday, Pee Wee Soccer (spring & fall)