A Lesson From Sienna

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."
Ephesians 2:8

Faith is a gift.

So why have I been struggling to believe in God? First, I don't want to. I want to know truth, but I'm not ready to believe. Yet today I was reminded that faith is believing in what is unseen. I will not know everything of who God is. Most of him will remain unseen. I will keep knocking, he will answer. He promises. But he also commands me to believe (1 John 3:23). So to believe in what is unseen, how do I do that?

Well I'm reminded of sweet little Sienna who for months wouldn't open the gift I so excitedly purchased to make her "big sister" transition so special. I even picked out the most precious, perfect gift, a ballerina treasure box! She would be ecstatic, in love! Why doesn't she want to open it? As much as I coaxed her, she had no interest and it broke my heart. She just said NO and even sometimes screamed and flailed.

Is this how God feels? He has died for all, including me, and I don't want that gift. "I'm not ready," I think. His heart must be broken too. God, can you help me believe? God, you command me to believe but I just can't. Jesus, can you give me a heart that wants to believe?

So what does Jesus do almost immediately? Gives me a heart to believe. He softens my heart and welcomes me home like the prodigal daughter. "I didn't ask you to do it on your own. You could do nothing to earn my favor, even believe. You just needed my son. Thanks for asking him to do it for you because after all, it IS finished."

Thank you Lord that your mercies are new every morning, great is your faithfulness!