The Gift of The Holy Spirit

I've been struggling for the past years regarding my salvation. I grew up in a "christian" home. I thought I was a believer but after my father died, my whole world was rocked. I questioned Christianity for the first time. I wanted to know what Christians really believed in. What does it mean to be saved? I wanted to know who God really was and what that means about myself and others. I could go on but I know this... I stared going to BSF in 2014 and it was the first time I was finding answers about what the Bible says. I prayed and prayed for my eyes to see truth. I was blessed to be in a geoup of mixed cultures to really see what the gospel says not the "white american" version of it. Also, I no longer wanted people's opinons but wanted to see God for who he truly was and is. In tangent, I was seeing people who were confident in their faith and assured of their salvation. I wanted that. I know longer wanted to be wavering. I wanted to figure out what religion I believed in and no longer wanted to be a hypocrit but to have new life only attributed to God. During a BSF lecture, I finally had it. I wanted new life. I knew I didn't have all the answers but I decided to finally believe that God could change me into a new person and I invited the Holy Spirit to come into my heart and change me. I immediately felt God's presence and confidently know now that I have been saved by God's gift of his son. It's nothing that I have done. Salvation has been given to me and I finally was ready to take it. I now pray that I can hear the Holy Spirit's voice more loudly and other voices will be dimmed. I also pray that I can faithfully worship God in spirit and truth.
I don't know, maybe I've always been saved. Or maybe I'm just newly born again. I don't know. But God has given me confidence that I now am and I need to pray each day that I continue to believe as I fight the fight against the evil one and his deception and doubt. Lord, help me to walk with purpose glorifying you and speaking truth to myself and others daily. Praise you for loving me and seeking me. You never gave up on me but pursued me. I feel so loved. Thank you, amen!