Children are a Blessing

I've always wanted to be a mother, but this thing called motherhood was spiraling out of control to days full of yelling and shouting matches, anger and quiet sadly, despair. The days were long and this thing, motherhood, that I always hoped for was not full of joy like I had anticipated.

So I wrestled with the Lord, "Why Lord? Why do I not like this thing called motherhood and why do sometimes I actually get to the point of not liking my children? They are so adorable, why am I going crazy?"

The Lord reminded me of Psalm 127:3 "Children are a blessing, a gift from the Lord." I'd heard it over and over again in Christian circles. But right now, in the depth of my heart, I did not feel this way as I went about our days in the Chamberlain household. Conviction feel on me.

The Bible is my authority so I sought direction from the Lord of why I wasn't believing this. The Lord, Creator of all things, is telling me that children are a blessing and gift! But did I truly believe that in the depth of my heart? No. I did not.

It has almost been a year since we've been "not not trying" for another child. As I watch other pregnant mommas around me I can't help but be saddened. Why Lord do all these women have babies so fast and close together and we, we don't? Then I look at my own kids and think, well Lord, I can't even see my two incredible children that are so amazing as a blessing. I struggle even to see them as a gift from you, so why would you give me more? Also, I realize that I have no control. They are truly a gift, wonderfully created, to be given to me, their mother. And that is convicting!

So Lord, as I've handed this over to you confessing my sin and seeking a repentant heart you have given me a heart with new eyes. In asking you to see my children as a blessing and a gift, you have not only opened my eyes but have given me an immeasurable joy in being their mother. Thank you for the greatest gift I could have ever asked for...your joy as I abide in you! And whether I have these two incredible children, more biological children, future adopted children or hundreds of spiritual children may it be for your glory alone!

Amen!